Saturday, October 27, 2007

Little Girl, Little Girl, How Do You Learn to Eat?

I am fourteen years old and I learn the art of fat-free eating. In my sack lunch, I pack:
  • 1 red delicious apple
  • 1 can diet coke
  • fat-free bagel w/fat free cream cheese
  • fat free pretzels
I learn that butter is the enemy, so my bread is always dry. My mother uses fat-free salad dressing, so I use it, too. Sometimes she even brings it to the restaurant in her purse. There is something intoxicating about deprivation. What control and strength it takes to withhold, to endure that hollow feeling. I feel powerful turning away fat. I decide that hunger pangs are a sign that I am truly alive. What depression takes away, hunger replaces.

- from my work-in-progress, "Stomach"

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