Wednesday, October 15, 2008
I only have the image today, not the words. I will leave the words to Elisabeth Kubler-Ross:
"When your loved one becomes sick, there were medical visits, case histories, and physical tests. Then they found the lump and your world immediately began to change.
Now you sit alone and remember the story of your loss. You may find yourself retelling the story to friends and family. Immediately following the loss, everyone wants to know how it happened. You tell your tale through your sadness and tears. Your talk about it after the funeral. When friends come over to visit, you discuss parts of the story you continue to grapple with....
While you try to comprehend and make sense of something incomprehensible and your heart feels the the pain of loss, your mind lags behind, trying to integrate something new into your psyche. It is something that moved too fast for your mind to understand. The pain is in your heart, while your mind lingers in the facts of the story, reenacting and recalling the scene of the crime against your heart. Your heart and mind are joined in one state, pain remembering pain.
Telling the story helps to dissipate the pain. Telling your story often and in detail is primal to the grieving process. You must get it out. Grief must be witnessed to be healed. Grief shared is grief abated."
From On Grief and Grieving